Im BACK

SO I have been out of the loop for a couple of weeks. Mainly because I was on a much needed vacation from work. So I was not always in front of the computer. Now that I am back what do I have to talk about......?......
Men... still not worth my breath
Friends...Good thing I have a real one
Family.. very draining, but I love them
Work.. still not what I like waking up to do
My hair... I cut it ALL off. I want to do something new for law school
Wigs... not yet comfortable with my boldness, so I am going in between
Godmother.. I am a new godmother to Miss Ayama, I am very proud to be there for her.
Ok I am sure there is more to say but since I am back to work these people are harassing me:)

Monday

Today will be a good day no matter what stupid some magazines publish. Yes the stock market is bad, banks are being rescued by the FDIC, elections are in a couple of months, but the New Yorker wants to publish "satire" Bull****.

Enough on that subject. I was listening to a song, well not really listening, moving to the beat. While listening to it, my cousin asked me why would I like such a song. "Bust It Baby" by Plies has a very good beat, but the words are horrible. I guess it means that I like a lot of songs that I do not know what they are singing/rapping about.

I'm just writing to avoid snapping on the New Yorker. I have already sent my email. The bad thing is that the picture is already in the eyes of the public.
BAD JOURNALISM

This song makes me think... I like it so much!!

India Arie-The Heart Of The Matter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJb_Sq7_jjo&feature=related

Click on the link. I don't know how to add videos just yet to this blog spot.:)

What do you think?

Scenario:

Girlfriend and boyfriend. Been in a relationship for 9 months. She mostly sleeps over his house. They have mutual friends. Not everyone knows they are in a relationship because they were friends for a couple of years before becoming monogamous. They like it like that. One weekend boyfriend goes out of town and leaves the key with one of there married mutual friends. When boyfriend comes back from out of town he finds out that mutual friend brought a bunch of people over hung out, slept with another girl in boyfriends room. Boyfriend says he was shocked and upset. But girlfriend does not believe that he is shocked. As mutual friends she knows that this type of situation has happened before just not during the time they have dated. Girlfriend is pissed because she feels it is disrespectful to her as his girlfriend. Even though they do not live together, does she have grounds? I feel she does. The boyfriend needs to grow a backbone and stand up to his friend and warn him that the behavior is unacceptable. Unless on the other hand he does not value the relationship. What do you think?

Loving yourself

They say it all the time. You cannot expect anyone to love you if you cannot love yourself. When you think about it, this should come natural to anyone but what I see is that it maybe harder to some than others. What are the steps to loving yourself? I heard a joke by Kat Williams that I really thought about ( I know your thinking Kat Williams?!?) If you as a woman has reached 24-25 and to you every guy that you have ever dealt with is not sh** then maybe there is something wrong with you. That comment can be true. Maybe as women we are seeking out the wrong type of men because we really do not know what we want or what is our worth. This goes directly back to learning to love and understand yourself. Most importantly we need to learn what it means to be an independent as a single lady. I encourage us all to take a step back and think about this….

How I learned to cook Stew

For all of you who have been blessed to eat my mouth watering cooking you all need to thank the 2nd man in my life. Please understand that I have always been a rebel, my mother is a good African woman and tried to instill good values I was just rejecting them early in life.. Growing up my mother had to force me to assist her in the kitchen. From cutting okra, to cleaning the meat I hated it.... with a passion. I would just tell her that cooking makes your hands look funny. And I wanted to maintain the beauty of my hands(VANITY). So, when I met my African man he was used to eba, okra soup, goat meat....
Me on the other hand had not ventured out and prepared such meals on my own. So after about a year of eating out and avoiding to cook I was pushed in a corner to show my good wife skills. Keep in mind all this time he thinks that I can cook. All my excuses of not cooking in a mans house and my lack of of time were fading. So one morning before he went to work he called me and said that he really wanted stew and hen. That I should either cook it at home and bring it or come over and cook. Money for the ingredients will be on his table. What could I say? I just agreed. I mean really how hard was it to cook. I have assisted to cook this dish many times.

So off to the store... knorr cubes, fresh tomatoes, peppers, canola oil, curry powder....

Got to his house forgot the hen... back to the store...hen, onion....

So now I am in the kitchen trying to remember the process. I only had to call my mom once to ask her how long the tomato should fry. Of course I had to lie and say that I was cooking stew for one of my American girlfriends because she would definitely not approve of me cooking in a mans house. At the end of the day I cooked stew on my own. I have to say that is was very tasty. I know, I know I would be a little partial but my African man ate it with speed. This started a trend of requests to cook African dishes that I never cooked before. Through trial and error I have become the great cook that I am. So I want to thank that once very special African man. Without you I would still be looking around for someone to help me cook stew, egusi, edikiakong....
For those of you who have always wanted to know how to cook that our famous Akwa Ibom/Cross River dish here is a recipe I found online at africanfood.com. Don't hold me responsible if it does not come out to your liking. Only a true AkwaIbomite can make this dish good enough to make all the men come a running:)


What you need
Ugu Leaves (subsitute Spinach) -- 2 Heads (2 standard Packages of Spinach)Waterleaf -- 2 HeadsCrayfish -- 1 Cup(Dried Fish -- 1 MediumGiant Snails (escargo) -- 4Beef or Goat Meat -- 1.5lbsKpomo* -- 1 lbPalm Oil -- 1.5 cupsOnions -- 1 Whole LargePepper -- 6 to 10 fresh hot or to tasteSeasoning -- 1 or 2 cubes of beef stockSalt -- about 2 teaspoons (use discretion
Preparation:
If necessary wash the ugu leaves. Pluck the leaves from the stem. Discard the stems. Collate and chop the leaves into thin (1/4 inch) slices. Set aside. Do same with waterleaves. Blend crayfish into coase powder using electric grinder. If african giant snails are available prepare them by cleaning the meat by rubbing with lemon or soaking and massaging in vineger until all slime is gone and meat is gritty to the touch. Canned escargo is a poor substitute for african giant snails. another substitute for snail may be scallops or any other sea mullusk. However, if any of these are not available, this part of the recipe may be omitted altogether. Break up the dried fish in a bowl pour in boiling water, add about 2 spoon heaps of salt. Wash the fish in the hot salt water to remove sand and other dirt. Remove fish from salt water and set aside. Grind peppers to a paste. Set aside.*Traditionally, kpomo or hide of beef, is also added when preparing Edikaikong soup.
The Cooking:In a medium sized covered pot, bring all meats (beef, kpomo) but not snails to steam without adding water. Add beef stock seasoning, 1/4 cup of water and salt, and cook till meat is tender (5 to 15 minutes). Add waterleaves to meat and beef stock. Stir. Add the crayfish, stir and let boil until most liquid in the pot evapourates. Add the snails at this stage so that it will cook just right. Over-cooked snails are leathery, cooked just right, the snails are crunchy and easy to chew. Add pepper and salt. Stir. Add the ugu or spinach, stir and allow to boil over (about one minute). Add the palm oil, stir and let boil for five more minutes. Turn off heat and serve. Should be able to feed four adults.
DON'T FORGET THE FUFU:)

How can we appreciate life more...

Sometimes we get so caught up with the day to day issues that we forget about all the good things that are going on in our life. We complain that gas is so high but we forget that we are fortunate to at least have a car to choose to drive or that we live in a society that gives you the freedom to drive.

I don't think that I complain much about the hustle of life, but I also think that I do not enjoy enough things/people around me. So busy with trying to succeed and do the "right thing" that I overlook all the good people/things around me. Last week I had an eye opener. I have and I hope those around me really begin to take it easy and enjoy life. There are just things in this world that we cannot control. We need to leave it to our higher beings to handle.
So I know I need to work on is showing emotion to people I care about. I am not sure why it is hard for me to say "I love you", "I miss you" or things along those lines... It amazes me. My sis is always telling me whenever we leave each other" See you later, and I love you" ( she also has a thing about saying "BYE") It is like force to say "I love you too". That is not good. My own sis..... So you can imagine what I go through with non family members. They get no emotion. I am quick to hug people I don't know that well when I greet them but my all my "personal persons" I barely move in during the greeting. NEED TO WORK ON THAT.
Need to stop putting off til tomorrow what I want to do today. If I wan to go out and enjoy friends then I should, not think "maybe later on in the month" the same goes for when I want some ME time.

Here are some other things we could ALL do to add happiness into our life:

• 
  Each night as you go to bed, list the 6 things you are most grateful for that day. If you’re having trouble counting to six, remember the little things such as having a roof over your head, food to eat, eyes to read this with and friends who care.
  
• Read positive quotes and stories. A quote takes only seconds or a minute to read so even the busiest of people can fit this in.
  
• Stop what you are dong and stretch your arms and legs. Feel the sensations of stretching and the pleasure of using muscles.
  
• Go out of your way to thank someone for what they are doing. It doesn’t have to be something they do for you – maybe thanks the lollipop lady for helping children stay safe, a stacker for keeping supermarket shelves full or a recyclers for saving resources.
  
• Smile. Yep, that’s all it takes – just smile occasionally even if no one is there to see it!
  
• Have a cuddle. Find a child, lover, pet, teddy bear or friend and cuddle them often.
  
• Wear things you like – perfume, after shave lotion, jewellery, favourite clothes. Wear them and enjoy wearing them rather than leaving them stored for rare ‘special occasions’.
  
• Contact a friend or relative and chat about unimportant things – use email if you haven’t got time for a long phone call or visit( but we need to try to get away from this being the only form of communication).
  
• Eat and drink slowly – it is less stressful on your body and mind and gives you time to actually taste it. Experience the textures on your tongue, too.
  
• Take notice of nature. Watch a sunrise or sunset, literally smell a flower, listen to the rain on a roof, walk on some autumn leaves and breathe in some fresh air. Taking a few seconds to appreciate beauty and nature is a great way to forget your worries and bring a smile to your face.
  
• Indulge in a hobby. If you can’t actually do it every day, read, talk or daydream about it instead.