Fa la la la la...

Christmas is almost here!! This year has gone by sooo quickly. Some ups and downs but defiantly more ups than downs. Today on Christmas Eve I am very happy. I am around most of the people that I care for. I wish my sisters, nieces, nephews, and brother were also here to enjoy the holidays with me and and the rest of the family. Hopefully, next year we can all be in the same country.

Have a Merry Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!!

Cash rain for Akpabio Cup winners

Winners at the maiden Godswill Akpabio U-17 boys and girls competition at the Uyo Township Stadium on Tuesday were all smiles as the deputy governor of Akwa Ibom State, Engr. Patrick Ekpotu, who stood in for Governor Godswill Akpabio, announced mouth watering cash gifts for them.

He doled out the sum of N1.5 million each to Akwa Ibom State boys and girls teams, the winners in both categories and rewarded the runners up, Kano male team and Oyo female team with N1million each.

Reacting to the cash rewards, the organizers of the nine-day football extravaganza, YSFON, praised the efforts of Governor Akpabio at keeping the youths busy with this kind of tournament and asked him not to rest on his oars until grassroots football development was enshrined in the programmes of every state in the federation.

The highpoint of the occasion was the presentation of awards to deserving indigenes of the state, who had contributed to the development of sports in general and football in particular.

On world rights day, women, others urge new focus

From Lemmy Ughegbe (Abuja), Saxone Akhaine (Kaduna)

In pertinent parts:

AS the world yesterday marked International Day of Human Rights, members of International Federation of Women Lawyers (FIDA) in Abuja have demonstrated against all cases of abuse and violence meted out on women, calling on Nigerians to lend their supports on new focus against such practices.
Also, the Coalition of Civil Society in the North yesterday cautioned the Federal Government on the increase cases of human rights violations in the country. It urged President Umaru Musa Yar'Adua to immediately put adequate security measures on ground to avoid the kind of Jos mayhem in any part of the country.

Speaking during the campaign rally, the Abuja Chairperson of FIDA, Mrs. Chinelo Iriele, who cited some statistics credited to the United Nation's Population Fund (UNFPA), claimed that between 700,000 and two million women are trafficked across international borders yearly for prostitution and slave labour.
Iriele further added that about six Nigerian girls are killed monthly in Italy by serial killers just as 30 per cent of Nigerians trafficked through the Sahara desert, who were mostly girls, die in transit.

The FIDA chairperson said at least 60 per cent of foreign prostitutes in Italy hail from African countries, adding that majority from Nigeria were between 10,000 and 15,000.
She alleged that women in Nigeria are being abused and treated wickedly in the areas of disinheritance, disempowerment, rape, incest, domestic servitude, harmful traditional practices, assault, abduction, trafficking, forced marriage, female genital cutting, forced prostitution and female infanticide.

The rally, which kicked off at Maitama office of the women lawyers through the Federal Secretariat, ended at the United Nations House where the Country Representative of UNFPA, Coulibaly Sidiki, pledged the support of the global body towards the fight against gender-based violence.
The lawmaker spoke yesterday at the NHRC auditorium in Abuja during a ceremony to commemorate the 60th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR) and International Human rights Day.

To underscore his call for genuine independence of the rights body, Inang cited the controversial sack of the commission's former executive secretary, Bukhari Bello, by Obasanjo.
He said that there is need for government to see human rights as a global issue rather than a personal matter, adding that it was high time government paid much attention to issues of human rights, considering their inalienable nature.

How ironic. She found out that he is getting married on January 3rd on December 3rd. Do you know to who? The same chick that he has been denying for 3 years. He said they were friends, ladadada. You know the same ol' stuff they tell you. I feel bad for her. The good and the bad is that she had that infamous woman's intuition, and she knew something was up. She ended it with enough time to heal. Unfortunately, this news has reopened her healing broken heart. When do you really heal? Its a wonder people go through this more than once. Meet a great person, fall in love, break up, heal.... then the cycle starts again. Maybe, you are mistaking infatuation for love and need to check your infatuation before you assume it is love. I just don't know. I am assuming this part of life for most of us. Optimism is the key. It go beta. I know that for sure:)

Thoughts..

He would come home around 45 minutes after midnight. A long day at work. I barely worked. So my days included waiting for him to come home. I would call him to ask if he wanted his favorite scrambled egg with cheese and raisin toast. I would make it and put it in the microwave for him. Unfortunately, I was juggling him and another man. Nothing physical, just alot of phone time. Late night talks that normally ended about 12:15 so that I can sleep or wait for him to come. If sleep had taken over me, he would come in and kiss me as I am sleeping and I would wake up smiling. We would stay up and watch all his favorite shows that he recorded on the DVR. I would fall asleep around 2am.
I miss that now. I think about recording shows, and I think of him. He has moved on. He is actually playing the field. Has a daughter, baby momma, and a girlfriend. Alot going on but I cannot help but think about him....
When does the heart really heal?

I am so grateful to have good people in my life. From my significant other to my friends and family. We complain so much, but if we all take a step back I am sure we will realize that life is a beautiful thing and we need to cherish those moments with the good people we have in our world.

Who are you voting for?

I think the word to describe my feelings in regards to this election would be "anxious." I do not really speak much about it to my colleagues because I feel like it is sort of a private opinion. I have seen how conversations about this election have gotten very heated. To a point I feel like the parties may turn to blows. When someone asks me "who are you voting for?" I tell them I am not sure. I am still deciding. But this is not true. I am 100% sure who will get my vote on Nov 4th. I just feel like this is a private matter... But is it? We should all be proud about who and what we vote for. We want our politicians to admit to things they have stood by now and in the past. Anyway, it is what it is( that is my new saying :). In less than a week, we will know who will be swearing in on January 20th, 2009 as the new United States President.

Acceptable forms of punishment

We had a guess speaker this week. Prosecutor John Sinquefield. Nicknamed “Dr. Death” He was the prosecutor in the Dericck Todd Lee case back in 2004. He was an African American serial killer (and you all say that “black folks” don’t do such crimes”). We also heard from Tony Clayton the state attorney who only prosecuted him for 2nd Degree murder because he could not prove any underlying felonies that are needed to commit for 1st degree murder. Dr. Death of course wanted him to be put to death for the killings of at least 6 women. Should he deserve to live for such a heinous crimes?

Before I started high school I would hear about people being put to death and feel so adamantly that this is not right. At all. I would right on the bottom of my assignments something like a signature. It would read “why do we kill people, who kill people to show that killing people is wrong?”
Then you grow up a little and you think about all the bad things people do. Should I have a retributism attitude and think “eye for an eye” or should I think that there are other forms of rehabilitation that can help society as a whole?

Now I am just not sure about the death penalty. I have always been told that “leave vengeance to god” which I am still trying to learn to apply in my daily life. So if this is what we as Christians should adopt them why do we need the death penalty?

Not sure, just a food for thought...

2009 is in approx. 80 days

How time flies. What are your biggest accomplishments of 2008? Email me personally, or post anonymously. I want to list them (nameless) on the blog before December to just to get everyone to think about 2009, and what they want to do the same or different in 2009.

Not another text

So after the text message, she has not hear from him. Men are predictable. I told you that he was just probably bored at work when he strolled through his phone and remembered "my ex". You should not have even entertained his text. Now you feel bad all over again. We need to let go of some baggage. He is excess luggage that needs to be dropped in the sea and forgotten.

This guy keeps telling me he is in love. I am so disgusted. He is a nice guy, but we are defiantly not in love. I hate when he tells me he loves me, I hate when he gets all emotional especially in front of me. He tells all my friends that he wants nothing more than to spend the rest of his life with me. I am sick of it. Men running around saying "I love you" everytime they get emotions below the belt. I have realized that some people will say anything to get "intimate". I'm not interested so please stop telling me thoughtless "I love you" it is nauseating.

Contract

In the law of contracts you learn that the offeror is the master of his offer. Meaning that he should lay out all the terms needed to be enforced before there can be a binding contract. This law should fall over into relationships. Going into a monogamous relationship is like a contract. Each party should know the terms that are expected to be filled in order for there to be a binding contract(relationship). These terms should be stated in the beginning so that each party knows what they are getting into. If not those terms are null and void and have no place in your monogamous relationship. So if you feel that you need to have specific things full filled in your relationship please state them in the beginning of your offer to relate, if not then there is no binding contract(relationship) and the other party is free to do what they want.

Debate

Was it me or was last nights debate just boring? I mean from both the candidates... It could just mean that I have my mind made up on whom will get my vote so it doesn't matter what the other party says at this point. What did you think?

He text me....

The last time we spoke was on Sept. 30th. Today is the 8th of October. I have already decided that we will no longer communicate. Screw the previous "friendship" I have to move on. I have fallen for your charm for the last time. Then I get a text today..... "hey babe how are you? What you been up to?" What the he**!!! Why are you sending me texts. Are you purposely trying to bring heartbreak into my life. You know how I feel about you.. I was happy then upset when I saw the text. Happy that I am still "babe" pissed that it may not be meant in the same context as when we were "together". Should I respond? After all we were friends? Or just ignore it and act like it was never sent to me? I miss our conversation, I want to hang out. What to do?

Nigeria Celebrates 48 Years Of Independence

Today marks 48 years of independence from British colonial rule. Today should be a day that we look back at all the accomplishments that Nigeria as well as Nigerians has made since independence. Unfortunately, many Nigerians continue to express frustration over widespread hunger, unemployment and the pace of development. We should all join together and ask ourselves “what can we do to make our county a better place?” Instead of complaining (which is dully justified) we need to think of what we can do here or back home to make our government accountable in making Nigeria a better place. We can also selflessly find ways individually to unite and give back to our county. A positive attititude goes a long way. Directly quoting Governor of Lagos, Fashola “
“Many will be tempted to focus on our failures and to lament our national deficiencies; they will compare our accomplishment to our potentials and conclude that we could have done better. But let us see the cup as half full rather than half empty", adding that it would be more beneficial to choose a more positive attitude in our assessment of the country.
He suggested that adopting a positive attitude would enable "the country to count its blessings and assess our strengths so we can have the courage and will to turn yesterday's short comings into tomorrow's successes."
So as we celebrate today as well as this weekend think not “What can my country do for me?” but “What can I do for my country?
Happy Independence Day!!!!

Dear XXXXXX

Do you know how hard it is for me to wake up each morning and not be upset with you. To accept your phone calls all in the name of friendship? How I fight with myself to stay strong and not let the fact that my heart is broken affect the way I interact with you as well as others? I am unhappy this morning because I cannot tell you that you are an asshole and are so emotionally unavailable. That you are selfish for allowing us to cross the friendship line and then so quickly leave me out to dry at the first sign of trouble. Do you know how lonely it is over here? Very f***n lonely. The easiest thing to do is to start dating another woman and lie to you and tell you that I am so consumed with work. Isn't that what you are doing? I visited this weekend and you had items of intercourse in your nightstand. For one year I never saw such items. Now all of a sudden you are fond of them. “I still care about you, you are just so difficult” how the hell does that sound to you? Like some bull…. I don’t want to be pissed off at you. I want us to laugh about how we thought a relationship could form from a 5 year friendship. I want to laugh but not now.. I am hurt, lonely and want you to console me. But because I am such a macho man I will swallow how I feel and still accept your phone calls and have meaningless conversation because I don’t want to sound like a wimp. We cry to…

Lyrics from Song Cry
[Jay-Z]
A face of stone, was shocked on the other end of the phone
Word back home is that you had a special friend
So what was oh so special then?
You have given away without gettin at me
That's your fault, how many times you forgiven me?
How was I to know that you was plain sick of me?
I know the way a ni**a livin was whack
But you don't get a ni**a back like that!
Sh*t I'm a man with pride, you don't do sh*t like that
You don't just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that
You don't throw away what we had, just like that I was just fu**in them girls,
I was gon' get right back
They say you can't turn a bad girl good
But once a good girl's goin bad, she's gone forever.. And more forever
Sh*t I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever

[Chorus] I can't see 'em comin down my eyes So I gotta make the song cry
I can't see 'em comin down my eyes So I gotta let the song cry
I know I seen 'em comin down your eyes But I gotta make the song cry
I can't see 'em comin down my eyes So I gotta make the song cry

All about shoes.

I Like:

I want to buy so many shoes but no money....

The life of a student...

Anyway I want to share some of the ones I like. Just in case one of you out there want to be kind and send me a pair:)

Junk in the trunk

In order to move forward in any endeavour you have to remove the "junk from your trunk" listening to Bishop TD Jakes that message really stood out to me. Not only am I guilty of taking load with me, sooo many of the people around me do the same. I wonder why? We know what did not work in a previous relationship (not just man/woman relationship but also work.) Yet we keep carrying those bad habits with us. Lets us focus on cleaning out our trunks. Throw out the snappy mood, nasty behavior, uncontrollable gossip, put away those old pictures, those items that will trigger some memorable occasions. If you really want to move on this is the key. Bishop TD Jakes made reference to the The Greek mythology story of Sisyphus. He was cursed to roll a huge boulder up a hill, only to watch it roll down again, and to repeat this throughout eternity. This is sort of what alot of us do. Go through one situation with someone and then move to the next one doing the same thing. We keep rolling that same boulder up the hill and never getting over the hill. I hope I am explaining it properly( it made sense to me:)) Anyway that being said, what I took from the message is leave the baggage, and move forward load free.

hmm

Evey time I see a car like his I get pissed. When I think of something he use to do that was unique but silly I smile. My emotions are on a uncontrollable roll-a-coaster. I want to get off. I don’t know how…. I want to honestly. I stay busy with work but it still doesn’t help. I date, but at the end I still think about him. We both did bad things in the relationship. His own was just unforgivable. I actually even thought I could deal with the discretion. With time I learned that I could not. SO I left. Left with all my possessions that I had in the home we shared for close to a decade. Now I regret it…. I am emotionally lonely. His discretion has now come to live with him after only 3 months. She vomited another human being out from there discretion. She says she wont have a place to stay and she will now move to New Jersey to stay with relatives. He doesn’t want that…. SO his discretion is moving in. Ready sex on command. I hat the two of them. Her for being so desperate that she chases a man steady for so many years. Him for being so weak that he falls. Even with all that hate I still miss him. I know there is a part of me that says I should not have left…. I should have stayed… Heck I am wondering if I need to pursue the possibilities of going back..

And the winner is ....?

John McCain

Substance: His arguments were hard to follow at the beginning, but he found his voice as the debate progressed, although he never seemed fully in control of his message. He had plenty to say about the economy, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Russia, but often bogged down his own answers when trying to unfurl quips and soundbites. Stuck with bumper sticker slogans on the economy, and while he got a bit more detailed on foreign policy, he stayed at his usual level of abstraction. If he truly knows more about the world than Obama, he didn't show it in this debate.
Grade: B-
Style: Cluttered, jumpy, and often muddled. Frequent coughing early on helped neither his arguments nor his image. Jokes about being deaf and anecdotes about Normandy and George Shultz seemed ill-advised - even his pen was old. His presentation was further hindered by his wandering discussion of the differing heights of North and South Koreans and his angry assertion about how well he knows Henry Kissinger. Fell into the classic politician's trap of inserting familiar stump speech applause lines into debate responses - which only works if done with enthusiasm and clarity (and if received by applause - a big No-No in Lehrer's auditorium, which the audience obeyed seriously and silently). Keenly aware of the grand, grave occasion, McCain wavered between respectful and domineering, and ended up awkward and edgy.
Grade: C-
Offense: Emphasized his bread and butter issues of taxes and spending, and hit Obama on his failure to visit Iraq and his expressed willingness to meet with dictators. But while mocking his opponent on a few occasions, which reflected his acute disrespect for Obama, he did so in an insufficiently sharp and detailed manner - and unevenly worked elements of his rival's record into his attacks. Still he was utterly confident about his own experience, knowledge, and policies, even when tripped by his own tongue and distracted by the strains of debate practice. The main problem: Obama's obvious preparation and sharp answers contradicted McCain's frequent claims that the Democrat was uninformed and "didn't understand" key issues.
Grade: C+
Defense: He managed to ignore most of Obama's jibes, but was eventually baited into giving an extended answer about his policy differences with President Bush, after his opponent repeatedly mentioned McCain's regular support of Bush's budgets. Was visibly riled when clashing with Obama over a variety of issues, including Iraq, sanctions, and spending. He also chose to boast about Sarah Palin (although not by name) as his maverick partner, who, after her shaky week, may no longer be his ace in the hole.
Grade: B-
Overall: McCain was McCain - evocative, intense, and at times emotional, but also vague, elliptical, and atonal. Failed to deliver his "country first versus Obama first" message cleanly, even when offered several opportunities. Surprisingly, did not talk much about "change," virtually ceding the dominant issue of the race.
Overall grade: B- (Read Mark Halperin's take on Barack Obama's performance)

Barack Obama
Substance: Quite manifestly immersed in the past, present, and future details of policy, and eager to express his views, which have been expanded, honed, and solidified during the last 18 months of hard campaigning. Still, he did avoid the nitty-gritty details of policy positions in favor of broad principles and references to working Americans, thereby not presenting the kind of specifics that some voters are waiting to hear from him.
Grade: B+
Style: Polished, confident, focused. Fully prepared, and able to convey a real depth of knowledge on nearly every issue. He was unhurried, and rarely lost his train of thought even when the debate wended and winded - and uttered far fewer of his trademark, distracting, "ums." At times, however, Obama revealed the level of his preparation by faltering over a rehearsed answer. He seemed to deliberately focus on the moderator and the home audience, with McCain as an afterthought - except when on the attack. Chose to avoid humor, for the most part, in favor of a stern demeanor, and in the process, came off as cool as a cucumber.
Grade: A
Offense: Linking McCain to Bush in his very first answer, he kept it up as his primary line of attack. Forcefully hit McCain for his early support of the Iraq War. Though he never drew blood, he did keep McCain a bit off balance, often with clever references to McCain's recent statements.
Grade: B
Defense: Had a reasonable answer for every charge that came his way - with little anger, bluster, or anxiety. Often interrupting McCain attacks with swift explanations and comebacks, he managed to spin accusations of being liberal as evidence of his relentless opposition to George Bush (in replies that were clearly planned). Offered a rather clumsy alternative to McCain's well-known, moving story of wearing the bracelet of a soldier lost in Iraq (a gift from the soldier's mother), with a story about a bracelet of his own. Fearless, without condescension, he attempted the gracious move of agreeing with or complimenting a McCain position, occasionally to his own detriment.
Grade: A-
Overall: Went for a solid, consistent performance to introduce himself to the country. He did not seem nervous, tentative, or intimidated by the event, and avoided mistakes from his weak debate performances during nomination season (a professorial tone and long winded answers). Standing comfortably on the stage with his rival, he showed he belonged - evocative of Reagan, circa 1980. He was so confident by the end that he reminded his biggest audience yet that his father was from Kenya. Two more performances like that and he will be very tough to beat on Election Day.
Overall grade: A-

I am sick of haters!!!! Now I understand why it is best to keep men as friends instead of envious chicks. It is very sad when someone does not want to see you progress. Friends should always want to see you progress. It is not by force that we all move at the same pace. Life is, what it is. Today I may move 2 steps ahead, next week you may move 10. We are not suppose to be keeping up with petty stuff like that. I look up to people who are succeeding in life whether spiritually, financially, emotionally. I dont feel jealous of his/her success. I appreciate that the individual is around me and that maybe I can learn something from them.

Chicks get it together

Who's side should u be on?

What do you do when your parents are no longer together? How do you balance all the imbalances? Its hard trying to be happy for both of them and support both of there views. Your father is mad that your mom has left the house and gotten a loft in Alpharetta like she is 25 years old. He has problems working a full day and coming home to cook for himself. You as the child could come by and cook for him, but your own husband will miss his dinner when he gets home. Then you hear your father praying to a higher being wishing bad luck on your mother. What do you do? Do you bust down the door and stop him in the middle of prayer and advice him that he should not have such a bad mind about your mother? Or do you step back and think, that was his wife..... What if my husband did something like that to me? I am pretty sure I would not wish him happiness in his next relationship... Isn't he someones child, and father? Seems like such a hard thing to deal with. What to do?

Emotional

This roller coaster is getting very hectic. Tired of the up and down. No one is forcing fer to subject herself to the emotional pitfalls. This guy is oblivious to the emotions that are needed to be in a committed relationship. She thought that she was carrying his child at one time. He was overly concerned..... She felt like he wanted to move forward (marriage) in the next year. Then one day they have an argument and call it quits. No in between, just quits. She stopped coming around they talked a couple of times but eventually they have just stopped talking. Somewhere in her mind she wants them to get back together. See that they really had a connection. Does not look like it is going to happen. He will go on and marry someone from his town and she will still be wondering why. She calls for clarification on why did it end like this... He has no real answer. He is pretty much done, but wants to be friends. That's bulls*** Why is she subjecting herself to more tears. 10 months does not seem like a long time but it really did a number on her. She has always loved him. Friends for more than 4 years. Why did she even cross the friends line? It is a very hard line to come back over. Time is a very important thing...u need it to get over a broken heart. Indulge yourself in work... think about the positive things. Don't think that he used you and made you that "in the meantime" lover. He may really care. But if you are not meshing then it is not by force. That's life we have to all deal with it, some with more tears than others.

Just a thought....

Eveytime I see a car like his I get pissed. When I think of something he use to do that was unique but silly I smile. My emotions are on a uncontrollable roll-a-coaster. I want to get off. I don’t know how…. I want to honestly. I stay busy with work but it still doesn’t help. I date, but at the end I still think about him. We both did bad things in the relationship. His own was just unforgivable. I actually even thought I could deal with the discretion. With time I learned that I could not. SO I left. Left with all my possessions that I had in the home we shared for close to a decade. Now I regret it…. I am emotionally lonely. His discretion has now come to live with him after only 3 months. She vomited another human being out from there discretion. She says she wont have a place to stay and she will now move to New Jersey to stay with relatives. He doesn’t want that…. SO his discretion is moving in. Ready sex on command. I hat the two of them. Her for being so desperate that she chases a man steady for so many years. Him for being so weak that he falls. Even with all that hate I still miss him. I know there is a part of me that says I should not have left…. I should have stayed… Heck I am wondering if I need to pursue the possibilities of going back..

You left me!!

He let the baby mother move in.!!!. She heard the news from her brother. They have been separated for only 3 months, and he let the baby mother move in... So disappointing... Hurt, shame, regret are the feelings that was running through her. When she heard the news she was with her current date. She could not hide the disappointment. She stayed up until 3am crying. Who was she going to call to express how horrible she feels? No one. People in her community did not know why one day she left him. I guess they assumed they had enough of the off and on relationship that has spanned 6 years. She sent the ex a text saying she hopes he is happy now, he has gotten what he wanted. All he could say is "You left me". Should she have left? Would she be happy with him? Would she be able to handle him having a child by another woman? I guess she will never know. All she knows is that right now she misses him, and wishes she was the one waking up to him every morning.

Just the thought of him kissing me sends chills through me. A year ago I thought he was the most ideal man for me. Marriage material... The last couple of months have been hard for me. I want him. I know that he cares about me, but maybe we are not on the same. We talk about marriage, but never specific. I am from one tribe he is from another. He says he can marry someone from my place. But again never specific. We have known each other for 4 years. Dated for a year. Is it to soon to talk about marriage? I want us to move in together and see how it can work. But how do you bring up such a conversation. I don't want to scare him away with commitment issues. I love him but have never told him.....

I am realistic to the point that I know it may not go anywhere. But because I have given myself physically I feel like I have gone so far to give up on us. We are still together but I want us to move to the next level.

Maybe I am scared he will reject me if I bring up such a serious topic. Tell me that he is not there in his life, or marriage is not an option, or marriage to me is not an option....

So many thoughts...

He just called me. We do the normal good morning babe... how are you? Lalalalalala

No substance lately. What am I doing? The smart thing to do is to cut my losses and move on. But I love him soooo much. I want a future for us, but does he?

She is one of my good friends. I expect her to have my best interest at heart just as I would. I travelled to Brazil for summer break last year. During the break a guy that I had been dating long distance came in town. My girlfriend went out with him and a mutual friend. I heard about it from him. I didn't mind. I actually thought it was good. My girlfriend, the guy I am dating should all be cool( my take on it) I hear later that him and her were real "friendly" during the visit. Close sitting, dancing...... Still I think well people are going to always make something out of nothing.

A year and a half later me and the guy no longer even speak. Bottom line I dislike him very much. It is well known that I don't want to be contacted when he visits me in South Carolina. So 2 weeks ago he comes into town. Him, her and the mutual friend hang out all night. He even spends the night in her place because he was so tired. I heard about it 2 days ago. What the hell!!! Is this right. I ask her why would you even go out with him. She says that she was hanging with the mutual friend as well so there should not be a problem. Tears filled my eyes. I felt so betrayed. The guy I was dating meant a lot to me but really hurt me. She should not be cool with him. Just like I am not cool. With him. Who cares that we all met the same day with the mutual friend... I DATED HIM. I need you to cut ties as I have. That is just being loyal to your girl who has been loyal to you.

What to do?

This relationship is sooo confusing. The man is the type that is passionate about what they do for a living. Enjoys the occasional outing with his friends, so fun loving. Really just the guy you call on when you need something done. A great friend. So for a while him and her have been close. 3 years ago they tried to date. One evening after catching a movie they kissed. They realized the passion that had been brewing for each other. Of course they were dating other people, before the kiss. SO they decided they would try to date, but maybe not so exclusive. 3 months and it was just OK. They never passed the point of kissing on the intimacy side. Then he travels to his home country for Christmas. When he come back they just go back to friends. No conversation about what went wrong. She goes back to dating he does the same. They still hang out occasionally, talk about things that they use to. Friends as usual. 1 and a half years pass by. Then his birthday rolls around. She throws him a surprise birthday party. He is so shocked. Others are wondering why she would go out of her way to do something like this for just a friend. They decide to date again. November 2007 they make it official by being monogamous. At times she feels more like a friend than a lover. She voices her opinion but doesn't seem to break through to him. She cares so much for him. She is not sure if he is on the same level. She voices her opinion. She breaks up with him after every argument, but comes back and says she doesn't mean it. Confusion for no reason. She wants to feel like she is the most important part of his life. She wants to parade around with him on his arm at all outings. Especially in his community.
It finally hits the fan. They break up 2 days before she leaves to accept her new position out of state. He says they are having problems while she is in his local. How will they survive while she is gone.
Devastation!!!! That same evening they go to dinner. Kiss, watch a movie and cuddle on the couch. She is so confused. Should she have left out of town without hanging with him? They still talk everyday. Call each other baby.... Are they just better off as friends? They have always been low key in there relationship. Only 3-4 people know they are together another 5-6 speculate they are seeing each other. That was some of the problems she was having in the relationship. Does everyone need to know who you are dating for the relationship to be valid?

What do they do? Its not like they are friends with benefits. She loves him( has never told him). Wants to have a future with him. Well at least that is what she thinks now..

What should they do?

You need 2

I know it is hard to take care of one significant other but to have two seems like it has more benefits than disadvantages. Just think about it... When boyfriend A doesn't have time to hang out then you just call boyfriend B, and vice versa. When you need monetary assistance you can get it from both. Example.... you need 800.00 to pay your mortgage. Ask both for 800.00 most likely they are only going to give you half. SO by the time each gives you half you will have whole. Now the hard part is how you will balance how you give affection. The bottom line is that you should not have sex with multiple partners BUT if you feel the need make sure you wear protection. No need to make an OK situation bad. Then there is the thought of marriage. Since men are so unpredictable it is best to have options. Life is a dog eat dog world sometimes. Ladies you don't want to have wasted 3 years with one man in hopes of getting married only for him to say that he is still not ready in the end. There will be somethings in one of the guys that you like more and some things you hate the most. Having options is always good. That goes for men especially.
Just a thought.....

Im BACK

SO I have been out of the loop for a couple of weeks. Mainly because I was on a much needed vacation from work. So I was not always in front of the computer. Now that I am back what do I have to talk about......?......
Men... still not worth my breath
Friends...Good thing I have a real one
Family.. very draining, but I love them
Work.. still not what I like waking up to do
My hair... I cut it ALL off. I want to do something new for law school
Wigs... not yet comfortable with my boldness, so I am going in between
Godmother.. I am a new godmother to Miss Ayama, I am very proud to be there for her.
Ok I am sure there is more to say but since I am back to work these people are harassing me:)

Monday

Today will be a good day no matter what stupid some magazines publish. Yes the stock market is bad, banks are being rescued by the FDIC, elections are in a couple of months, but the New Yorker wants to publish "satire" Bull****.

Enough on that subject. I was listening to a song, well not really listening, moving to the beat. While listening to it, my cousin asked me why would I like such a song. "Bust It Baby" by Plies has a very good beat, but the words are horrible. I guess it means that I like a lot of songs that I do not know what they are singing/rapping about.

I'm just writing to avoid snapping on the New Yorker. I have already sent my email. The bad thing is that the picture is already in the eyes of the public.
BAD JOURNALISM

This song makes me think... I like it so much!!

India Arie-The Heart Of The Matter

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJb_Sq7_jjo&feature=related

Click on the link. I don't know how to add videos just yet to this blog spot.:)

What do you think?

Scenario:

Girlfriend and boyfriend. Been in a relationship for 9 months. She mostly sleeps over his house. They have mutual friends. Not everyone knows they are in a relationship because they were friends for a couple of years before becoming monogamous. They like it like that. One weekend boyfriend goes out of town and leaves the key with one of there married mutual friends. When boyfriend comes back from out of town he finds out that mutual friend brought a bunch of people over hung out, slept with another girl in boyfriends room. Boyfriend says he was shocked and upset. But girlfriend does not believe that he is shocked. As mutual friends she knows that this type of situation has happened before just not during the time they have dated. Girlfriend is pissed because she feels it is disrespectful to her as his girlfriend. Even though they do not live together, does she have grounds? I feel she does. The boyfriend needs to grow a backbone and stand up to his friend and warn him that the behavior is unacceptable. Unless on the other hand he does not value the relationship. What do you think?

Loving yourself

They say it all the time. You cannot expect anyone to love you if you cannot love yourself. When you think about it, this should come natural to anyone but what I see is that it maybe harder to some than others. What are the steps to loving yourself? I heard a joke by Kat Williams that I really thought about ( I know your thinking Kat Williams?!?) If you as a woman has reached 24-25 and to you every guy that you have ever dealt with is not sh** then maybe there is something wrong with you. That comment can be true. Maybe as women we are seeking out the wrong type of men because we really do not know what we want or what is our worth. This goes directly back to learning to love and understand yourself. Most importantly we need to learn what it means to be an independent as a single lady. I encourage us all to take a step back and think about this….

How I learned to cook Stew

For all of you who have been blessed to eat my mouth watering cooking you all need to thank the 2nd man in my life. Please understand that I have always been a rebel, my mother is a good African woman and tried to instill good values I was just rejecting them early in life.. Growing up my mother had to force me to assist her in the kitchen. From cutting okra, to cleaning the meat I hated it.... with a passion. I would just tell her that cooking makes your hands look funny. And I wanted to maintain the beauty of my hands(VANITY). So, when I met my African man he was used to eba, okra soup, goat meat....
Me on the other hand had not ventured out and prepared such meals on my own. So after about a year of eating out and avoiding to cook I was pushed in a corner to show my good wife skills. Keep in mind all this time he thinks that I can cook. All my excuses of not cooking in a mans house and my lack of of time were fading. So one morning before he went to work he called me and said that he really wanted stew and hen. That I should either cook it at home and bring it or come over and cook. Money for the ingredients will be on his table. What could I say? I just agreed. I mean really how hard was it to cook. I have assisted to cook this dish many times.

So off to the store... knorr cubes, fresh tomatoes, peppers, canola oil, curry powder....

Got to his house forgot the hen... back to the store...hen, onion....

So now I am in the kitchen trying to remember the process. I only had to call my mom once to ask her how long the tomato should fry. Of course I had to lie and say that I was cooking stew for one of my American girlfriends because she would definitely not approve of me cooking in a mans house. At the end of the day I cooked stew on my own. I have to say that is was very tasty. I know, I know I would be a little partial but my African man ate it with speed. This started a trend of requests to cook African dishes that I never cooked before. Through trial and error I have become the great cook that I am. So I want to thank that once very special African man. Without you I would still be looking around for someone to help me cook stew, egusi, edikiakong....
For those of you who have always wanted to know how to cook that our famous Akwa Ibom/Cross River dish here is a recipe I found online at africanfood.com. Don't hold me responsible if it does not come out to your liking. Only a true AkwaIbomite can make this dish good enough to make all the men come a running:)


What you need
Ugu Leaves (subsitute Spinach) -- 2 Heads (2 standard Packages of Spinach)Waterleaf -- 2 HeadsCrayfish -- 1 Cup(Dried Fish -- 1 MediumGiant Snails (escargo) -- 4Beef or Goat Meat -- 1.5lbsKpomo* -- 1 lbPalm Oil -- 1.5 cupsOnions -- 1 Whole LargePepper -- 6 to 10 fresh hot or to tasteSeasoning -- 1 or 2 cubes of beef stockSalt -- about 2 teaspoons (use discretion
Preparation:
If necessary wash the ugu leaves. Pluck the leaves from the stem. Discard the stems. Collate and chop the leaves into thin (1/4 inch) slices. Set aside. Do same with waterleaves. Blend crayfish into coase powder using electric grinder. If african giant snails are available prepare them by cleaning the meat by rubbing with lemon or soaking and massaging in vineger until all slime is gone and meat is gritty to the touch. Canned escargo is a poor substitute for african giant snails. another substitute for snail may be scallops or any other sea mullusk. However, if any of these are not available, this part of the recipe may be omitted altogether. Break up the dried fish in a bowl pour in boiling water, add about 2 spoon heaps of salt. Wash the fish in the hot salt water to remove sand and other dirt. Remove fish from salt water and set aside. Grind peppers to a paste. Set aside.*Traditionally, kpomo or hide of beef, is also added when preparing Edikaikong soup.
The Cooking:In a medium sized covered pot, bring all meats (beef, kpomo) but not snails to steam without adding water. Add beef stock seasoning, 1/4 cup of water and salt, and cook till meat is tender (5 to 15 minutes). Add waterleaves to meat and beef stock. Stir. Add the crayfish, stir and let boil until most liquid in the pot evapourates. Add the snails at this stage so that it will cook just right. Over-cooked snails are leathery, cooked just right, the snails are crunchy and easy to chew. Add pepper and salt. Stir. Add the ugu or spinach, stir and allow to boil over (about one minute). Add the palm oil, stir and let boil for five more minutes. Turn off heat and serve. Should be able to feed four adults.
DON'T FORGET THE FUFU:)

How can we appreciate life more...

Sometimes we get so caught up with the day to day issues that we forget about all the good things that are going on in our life. We complain that gas is so high but we forget that we are fortunate to at least have a car to choose to drive or that we live in a society that gives you the freedom to drive.

I don't think that I complain much about the hustle of life, but I also think that I do not enjoy enough things/people around me. So busy with trying to succeed and do the "right thing" that I overlook all the good people/things around me. Last week I had an eye opener. I have and I hope those around me really begin to take it easy and enjoy life. There are just things in this world that we cannot control. We need to leave it to our higher beings to handle.
So I know I need to work on is showing emotion to people I care about. I am not sure why it is hard for me to say "I love you", "I miss you" or things along those lines... It amazes me. My sis is always telling me whenever we leave each other" See you later, and I love you" ( she also has a thing about saying "BYE") It is like force to say "I love you too". That is not good. My own sis..... So you can imagine what I go through with non family members. They get no emotion. I am quick to hug people I don't know that well when I greet them but my all my "personal persons" I barely move in during the greeting. NEED TO WORK ON THAT.
Need to stop putting off til tomorrow what I want to do today. If I wan to go out and enjoy friends then I should, not think "maybe later on in the month" the same goes for when I want some ME time.

Here are some other things we could ALL do to add happiness into our life:

• 
  Each night as you go to bed, list the 6 things you are most grateful for that day. If you’re having trouble counting to six, remember the little things such as having a roof over your head, food to eat, eyes to read this with and friends who care.
  
• Read positive quotes and stories. A quote takes only seconds or a minute to read so even the busiest of people can fit this in.
  
• Stop what you are dong and stretch your arms and legs. Feel the sensations of stretching and the pleasure of using muscles.
  
• Go out of your way to thank someone for what they are doing. It doesn’t have to be something they do for you – maybe thanks the lollipop lady for helping children stay safe, a stacker for keeping supermarket shelves full or a recyclers for saving resources.
  
• Smile. Yep, that’s all it takes – just smile occasionally even if no one is there to see it!
  
• Have a cuddle. Find a child, lover, pet, teddy bear or friend and cuddle them often.
  
• Wear things you like – perfume, after shave lotion, jewellery, favourite clothes. Wear them and enjoy wearing them rather than leaving them stored for rare ‘special occasions’.
  
• Contact a friend or relative and chat about unimportant things – use email if you haven’t got time for a long phone call or visit( but we need to try to get away from this being the only form of communication).
  
• Eat and drink slowly – it is less stressful on your body and mind and gives you time to actually taste it. Experience the textures on your tongue, too.
  
• Take notice of nature. Watch a sunrise or sunset, literally smell a flower, listen to the rain on a roof, walk on some autumn leaves and breathe in some fresh air. Taking a few seconds to appreciate beauty and nature is a great way to forget your worries and bring a smile to your face.
  
• Indulge in a hobby. If you can’t actually do it every day, read, talk or daydream about it instead.

Reading...

Very hectic weekend for me. This weekend I realized that I am not as strong as I thought, at least emotionally. The hard exterior can be broken down to crumbs when it comes to my family and loved ones. I pray that it shall be well for me, my family, friends/loved ones....Amen.

That being said I decided to pick up an old book that I think I have been reading for close to 8 years. I am not sure why I still have it and have not finished reading. Normally if I do not like the book I will pawn it off on one of my friends to see if they can enjoy.

Anyway the books is "Airing Dirty Laundry"by Ishmael Reed. The book just comes off as a black man upset. Sorry to say. I continue to read it because it is attention getting, makes you really think....

But for the life of me I have not been able to finish it. So I wanted to put the book out to the public. Look it up. It maybe something you are looking for. All the conspiracy theories from the eyes of a mad black man.....

He doesn't look like a mad black man...

?The effects of spending to much time with your boyfriend/girlfriend?

Should you only see your significant other a specific amount of hours per week? If both of you work at least 40 hours a week, work out, hang with your platonic friends, and have some personal time... how much time should you dedicate to showing your partner some attention? Does it depend on your age? Length of the relationship? What about constantly sleeping over? Is that still a taboo? Everybody likes there space...I guess it should be ok to see your personal person 5 out of 7 days of a week..?... Not really sure, you can really just like being around someone. Or you may just like sleeping in the bed with that special person. I don't know?? How can you miss someone if you are always together? But how do you get to know the person and there ways if you don't spend enough time together? Can you get bored if your together but doing new things? Looking for lots of feedback.........

The HEAT is on

It is hot.... For those of us in the ATL we should be used to the heat. But I am not. The last couple of Summers I have spent them in Germany or Nigeria. I know you may think well Nigeria is hot, well it is a whole different kind of heat compared to the ATL. As soon as I walked out the doors of my job yesterday afternoon i was choked by the heat. I felt horrible. Instantly my neck became moist with sweat, that is not cool when you are being cute. In Nigeria I expect it to be hot. Actually I could care less if I am sweating. When I am back home, my bush mentality comes out full force so I could care less if I am drenched with sweat.
I walk to my car, and as I approached my car I see brown spots all over my seats and windshield. Then I remember my friend gave me a peps.i the night before. I was PISSED. The can was on the seat with the remainder of the soda dripping on my nice leather seats. I gracefully emptied a plastic bag that was holding a recent buy from DSW and used it to sit on. My steering wheel sticky, my moon roof super sticky, just disgusting. So I spent the afternoon hand cleaning my the inside of my car( I refused to pay the guy off of Jimmy Carter $50.00 to clean it).
That being said I am sure others know better, I normally do.... Good thing it was leather not cloth because I would have had to use next weeks gas money to clean my car.

Nigeria: Militants Strike Again, Kill Nine Naval Officers

Per allafrica.com

Barely 24 hours after some gunmen attacked an oil facility in the Niger Delta, killing 1 and injuring several others, a second attack was recorded in yet another vessel in the oil-rich region yesterday morning in which nine Nigerian Navy personnel were killed and four civilians injured.
Spokesman of the Joint Military Task Force (JTF), Lt. Col. Sagir Musa, who confirmed the incident, said a vessel belonging to Addax Petroleum was attacked in the early hours of yesterday.

"Another supply vessel working for Addax Petroleum, the Seacor Macor, was attacked early this morning (yesterday) and nine navy personnel were killed and four civilians injured," he told AFP.
Yesterday's attack came a day after a member of the Nigerian Navy was killed and four other Nigerian seamen injured when gunmen travelling in two speed boats attacked an Addax vessel some 40 kilometres from the Nigerian coast.
It would be recalled that last month, Nigeria's most prominent militant group, the Movement for the Emancipation of Niger Delta (MEND), attacked an oil pipeline run by Dutch Shell in Delta State, killing 11 soldiers in the attack.
However, no group has so far claimed responsibility for the two attacks.

The international price of crude oil has been seriously affected as a result of series of attacks, according to Organisation of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC) figures, resulting in cuts in daily production by about a quarter.
However, when contacted, spokesperson for the Nigerian navy, Capt. Henry Babalola, confirmed the second attack but insisted that only one personnel of Addax Petroleum was killed, while two others were injured.
A spokesman for Addax Petroleum Nigeria Ltd could not immediately confirm the attack as at the time of going to press.

WHAT THE HELK!!! Why is this still going on? I can understand being from the the Niger Delta area that we are upset that the community has not benefited from all the oil production, but darn these militants are killing innocent people!!!! Stop, abeg stop!! And for those of us here STOP saying that this is the best way to handle the situation. IT IS NOT!!

Obama Mania

I stold this phrase from one of my friends. Last night my friends were popping bottles of champagne to celebrate the success of the Obama campaign. I am happy that Barack was able to officially state that he is the Democratic presidential nominee. It has been a ruff ride for him with all the media dissecting there family's every move and comment. Who knew that he would defeat Mrs. Hillary Clinton? A year ago she was the front runner, then people started to see the potential that Barack could bring to the presidency. Some people think that I am against Obama for president, others think that I want to vote for McCain. Not stating who I am backing explicitly, I just like to get people to really think about who they really want for president. I really don't like to hear "I am voting for Barack because he is black", " I am voting for Hillary because she is a woman". What makes sense to say is " I am voting for ...... because they have a track record of supporting causes that are in line with my views, or that I support.... because I believe that he/she will bring change to our downward slopping economy" That being said congrats again to Barack Obama. A couple of things I liked about his speech last night was one that he really did not focus so much on himself. He talked about his component Hillary Clinton with high regards. He was pretty much inviting her to be the VP on his ticket. I think I heard while I was dozing off that he even called her to congratulate and wanted to have a sit down with her. The only thing I see that could be a problem between the two of them being on the same ticket is that Clinton will have to learn to be a follower in most cases and let Obama lead. There personalities may clash then it will be like Olusegun Obasanjo and his VP Atiku Abubakar who never really got along.
Then he spoke about McCain and brought up the facts of how he has stood by Bush and his policies. The funny thing is that this hall in MN is the same one McCain will accept the Republican nomination later on this year.

But did you see his lovely wife?!?!? When she walks out she demands attention. I am not sure if it is her height or the contrast of there complexion but when she stepped out in that purple dress and those pearls I looked on with admiration. Supporters say "Barack Obama's wife, Michelle, combines the poise of Jackie Kennedy with the brain of Hillary Clinton and the uncomplicated charm of Laura Bush.". I concur. I really admire this woman. She is able to balance out her career and her family and still look good. I hope that I will be able to do that when I leave law school..... I am sure that because you have not heard any gossip about their relationship and the fact that she seems so well balanced it has made Barack a better candidate in an Americans eyes. A black man with no extramarital affairs?!!? To shocking for some to comprehend:)

Sexy Shoes in th City

So of course I saw Se.x in the Ci.ty on Friday. I am one of the late comers to this series. I NEVER watched it while it was running on HBO. Then last year while in Nigeria for the Summer out of boredom I bought a bootleg copy( I have to confess because I know it was not the original being sold on Aba Rd in Port Harcourt) of the first couple of years of the series piled onto one DVD. I fell in love with the series. Not that I could really care about Samantha and all the many men, nor Carrie and the non committed BIG, but I like the fact that they were mostly independent living in the city with nice cloths and shoes. From that point I started looking for more episodes while being stuck in traffic in PH or Lagos. When I came back to the USA, I visited one of my friends and they have Se.x and the C.ity on Comcast Demand. I was very happy. Been on the series since then. So during the movie I paid attention to the story line but I also paid attention to the shoes. All my friends think I am Charlotte with a little of Miranda. Funny enough I like Charlotte's style a lot better than Carrie. More conservative, not to over the top and elegant. All through the movie I kept thinking "those shoes would look nice with that skirt". I don't plan to go shoe shopping very soon, you know due to the minor recession I am in. I need to hold on to all my dinero. You never know when a layoff may come from one of these corporate companies.

Anyway, a group of us saw the show. 9 loud Africans talking throughout the movie. We had fun. Wish we could do a girls night out at least once a month. Helps us stop thinking about our normal lives or at least gives us an outlet to vent about it. When I looked at us Friday I see how we all have grown. I mean 2-3 years ago we were always going out together. From Wednesday to Saturday we were on the scene. When we entered a party we were in a group and all attention on us the whole night. Not that we were seeking attention but our presence was so dominant. Then real life starts to happen. Grad school, marriage, children and plain just growing up hit us all. Now we have to plan in advance to meet, and most of the time we all cannot be there. I miss those times when we use to meet on Thursday evening. We would cook and watch Nigerian movies until 10pm or so then we would hit some spot to break a sweat while dancing. Ooooooh how I miss those days. I try to at least to hang out with one of my girlfriends at least once a week. I am one of the few of us who does not have to rush back home to take care of children. Hanging with my girls helps me to stop stressing about man wahala, work wahala, life wahala. I believe this is really what keeps us from aging and looking all stressed out. That being said I am going send a good morning to all my friends and associates. Hope you all have a wonderful day. And yes Carrie and BIG did get married:) I guess you can date a man for 10 years and he still marries you..........( not my portion)

Happy Bday Lolita!!!!!

Today is my gurls bday. I normally don't put specific info about my friends on this blog but I am sure anyone who knows me, should know today is her birthday. I just want to put it out there that she is a good friend, always willing to bend over backwards for you( she WILL complain about it though and make funny antics but you get use to that :)) I missed her bday like 2 years straight so I made sure I was going to be around for this one. I believe a spa day is going on as I speak. I was not able to leave work early. The first day after any holiday is always busy. SO, this evening we are going to step out as a large group looking very stylish and celebrate her day.

Happy Bday gurl!!

Wednesday

Is it hump day already? This week is going full speed. The weekend is looking uneventful. Sunday I am attending an Ikwerre Convention, other than that I will be home....
My girlfriend birthday is on Tuesday. Do not have a clue on what to do.... Last 2 years I have missed it( for good reasons of course) and I know she will not take it lightly if I miss this one. Memorial Day should be filled with bbq's and pool parties. I have no intention of doing either. So what do I want to talk about today...... I have free time at work......Oh OK, is Hillary Clinton still campaigning? I am confused. I thought the media and the statistics say that there is no way she can get enough super delegates. I know it is hard to walk away from such a fight but it may be time to cut her losses and start backing the new Democratic nominee. Again, Democratics are known for not being loyal. That is why they have trouble winning elections. Anyway November is coming soon so we will really see who will be in office. Hopefully I will get a break from paying $4.15/gallon. Not likely but hope is all I have. Ok, since it looks like I am having a good day my boss decided to add me to a project.... Typical. Gotta go

Afropolitan Affair

Last night I attended the Afropolitan Affair at The Defoor Center. Per the Urban Dictionary, Afropolitan is "the newest generation of African emigrants, coming soon or collected already at a law firm/chem lab/jazz lounge near you. You’ll know us by our funny blend of London fashion, New York jargon, African ethics, and academic successes. Some of us are ethnic mixes, e.g. Ghanaian and African American, Nigerian and Swiss; others merely cultural mutts: American accent, European affect, African ethos. Most of us are multilingual: in addition to English and a Romantic or two, we understand indigenous tongues and speak a few urban vernaculars. There is at least one place on The African Continent to which we tie our sense of self: be it a nation-state (Ethiopia), a city (Ibadan), or an auntie’s kitchen. Then there’s the G8 city or two (or three) that we know like the backs of our hands, and the various institutions that know us for our famed focus. We are Afropolitans: not citizens, but Africans of the world."

The event had a mix of jazz, African dance, spoken words all from different ethnic backgrounds. This is good when forming an entertainment company. Her group will be able to gain support from so many avenues. It was not the same ol stuff we see at African events. The time has come to do new things and collaborate with other cultures. I am really proud of the CEO. Her board of directors consists of women from different backgrounds. I really enjoyed the African dance the members displayed. There was also a Nollywood/American Skit that had all of us laughing( GO TEDDY!!). I am sure they will have many upcoming events so look out.

Naija News...

World Bank offers N7bn support

The World Bank has committed six million dollars (about N7 billion) to the Health Insurance Fund (HIF), a private initiative, to support a group of 30,000 people in Lagos State.
The Managing Director of HIF, Mr Chris Vorm, said this on Tuesday in Abuja in an interview with the News Agency of Nigeria (NAN)
“The World Bank has agreed to support a group of 30,000 people in Lagos for five years which will start in the second or third quarter of the year,” he said.
Vorm said the fund was a foundation that provided private health insurance to low income groups in sub-Saharan Africa.
The director said the insurance covered quality basic health care, which, he noted, included the treatment of HIV and AIDS.
“Through its innovative approach, the fund strives to contribute toward increasing access to quality basic health care.
“This will bring the achievement of the Millennium Development Goals (MDGs) to reality,” he said, adding that the health sector in Africa faced a number of challenges so the public health sector was unable to meet the countries health care needs.
According to him, “even though most of the donor money is channelled through the private sector, health care and treatment for HIV and AIDS, malaria as well as tuberculosis remain inaccessible to the vast majority of Africans.
“An innovative health-care model is therefore needed to increase the demand for pre-paid health-care and improve the quality of health care delivery.”
He said that the fund’s programme was aimed at organised groups of previously uninsured, low-paid workers such as women associations and farmer organisations.

Speed Dating

My weekend started early last week. Thursday night me and one of my girlfriends went speed dating. Hosted by Elle from V103 and PALM with AT&T. Very interesting experience. They were giving out cell phones if you have the best pick up line and also just randomly. Sutra Lounge(?) was a good place for the event. Started around 7pm ended around 11pm. Free food, wine and beer. We went with the intention of just trying something new, not to find our next love. When we walked in there was not a fine lookn man in sight:) They split us up according to our age group and as well as age groups you may be interested. Then they give us a card where we can list the individual names that we meet. Either put a yes or no by the persons name. If the other person puts a yes then the speed dating company will send your info to him/her. They were even giving away a romantic dinner and a ride in a limo. The guys I met were just not my type. Some may have been appealing but........

My girlfriend saw one that had nice conversation. "Would be a cool friend". So after the main dating part there is more mix and mingle. The alcohol started to smell on some of the guys breath. I knew it was time for me to head back to Gwinnett. Then my girlfriend brought up a great idea. We should do one of these for our African community. NICE!!! So that is what we are going to do. We know our African women may be a little apprehensive about this type of activity but you can make it out to whatever you want. Whether networking, mingling, dating or just pure FUN!!! So ladies and gents get ready for an invitation to come your way.

OK..so Friday I stayed home to prepare for Saturday.

Saturday: Graduation!! My cousin graduated from GSU. I am so proud of her. She is so glad that school is over at least for now. She wants to pursue her masters. I think this is a great idea. These days a Bachelors Degree is worth more like a high school diploma. Everyone has one, so in order to stick out from the crowd when applying for a job a higher level of education is needed or some other accomplishments.

After the graduation that was held at the GA Dome, we went out to eat. About 40 of us. We sent the server up and down.. I felt bad for her, she was showing her irritation. Her strong New York accent came across the table loud and clear. Over all the day was fun but draining. I got home around 11pm and fell OUT.

Sunday: Happy Mothers Day!!! Got up real early started cooking breakfast for my mom. My sis took over after a while, because I needed more sleep. When I woke up my aunt had come over, food was cooked and finished, and a loud Nigerian movie was echoing our downstairs. My mom loves the gifts we get her all year so on specific days she prefers CASH. So, I got her a vase full of orchards( one of my favorite flowers) in white, pink and purple, and of course some cash. I relaxed for the rest of the afternoon. Then off to bed early to start my lovely work week.

What did you do?

Cinco De Mayo

I am not real familiar what this holiday, so I did what all good people do I googled it... SO it is not Mexican Independence Day as one of my friends swore by this morning, it is actually the celebration of the initial victory of Mexican forces against French forces on May 5th 1862. So here in the USA, and I guess other countries that celebrate that day its a day to enjoy the Mexican heritage. I want to join in the festivity but I don't drink and the highlight is the Coronas...I would like to eat dinner at Frontera but the amount of cheese I want to eat will not help me in my mission to tone my legs. I guess I am not celebrating.

Savannah there I went:)

The month has started off nicely. The weekend was a blast. Visited Savannah on Saturday morning. Nice town...has a romantic feel to it in the evening. Couples everywhere, showing how much they care about each other. The drive was a nice one. I spent time catching up with my friends over the phone while I drove. When I reached Savannah, upon persuasion I decided to do one of those guided tours around the historical district. I actually visited Savannah when I was younger with my daddy, but could not remember anything, so this was a good idea. The architectural design in The Cathedral of St. John the Baptist was very intriguing. It was established by French immigrants as Savannah's first parish at the end of the 18th century. The French immigrants went to Savannah after an uprising in Haiti. They also recently erected a monument to show tribute to the 750 Haitian soldiers that fought alongside colonial troops against the British in the Siege of Savannah on Oct. 9, 1779. The monument was tall and bronze with 4 or 5 soldier and a drummer boy. The interesting thing about the drummer boy was that it is of Henry Christophe, the first king of Haiti, who participated in the battle at age 14. I heard that the Haitian population is very strong in Savannah, but I didn't see any first hand.

Over all: A nice trip, it was super to get away. Now I need to save up to spend a couple of days in Los Angeles....

This year has really been speeding. I want it to slow down a little so that I can enjoy all the nice things that are happening to me. I am blessed and highly favored(the new thing to say..) and so happy and grateful for what he has done for me.

There are so many things that I am trying to accomplish by August, I just hope time does not go so fast that I don't accomplish all.

Commitment

Relationships are like a double edged sword. You love to be in one, but you cant stand the drama. Some people have a lot of reserves when it comes to being involved exclusively and dealing with honesty. I have heard that I am too hard on the guys, don't give them enough time to mess up. I am realizing that may be true.... I love the guys, funny enough 95% of my friends come from the opposite sex. The down side to it is they sometimes treat me like one of the guys and I get to see all the bad things they are involved. This can effect the way a woman looks at a man. You see how they are with there significant other then you see how they are with the "other woman". They could fool the pope:( Anyway, I guess that is how it works out sometimes. Through all this we have to jump in blindly and see how the whole relationship thing is going to work. If not we will be single for the rest of our lives wishing we would have taken that risk.

"I've loved him for 3 years, staying close enough to make sure I am always in his circle of friends. For 6 months we have been working on establishing an official intimate relationship. The feeling is so sweet, he kisses my forehead when I am mad, smiles when I frown. I miss him when he is away. I am so happy now."

Thoughts..

The weekend was nice. I attended a Christening and reception of one of my best male friends children. He is a popular guy so many came from far and wide to attend this event. I showed up fashionably late, which I was really trying not to do, but I guess it is in the genes. You know I like to observe and over analyze things( some of the side effects of my obsessive compulsive disorder) so while at the reception I am observing many things. There were children everywhere. Nicely dressed in there church outfits, behaving themselves. I looked at the mothers, they looked happy, tired but happy. Then I start to think “Maybe I am ready to settle down and have kids, it does not look like so much work.” 45 minutes passed and all hell broke loose, these nice children started to move around, make all kinds of unnecessary noise, cry. It was then I realized that my eye was twitching. The noise was more than the music. The mothers looked like they wanted to be in the other room dancing but just cant break away. Then it dawned on me that I may not be ready. Especially not ready to take this on by myself. How I go manage without husband? My cousin was on the way to the dance floor with me, she has a 5 month daughter but she also has a good husband that does not mind holding his daughter while she goes and breaks a sweat on the dance floor. I would love to have children at a young age just because it seems like the best thing to do, but am I ready to leave selfishness, and impatient behind?

Next observation: Some women na ashawo!!! I know men can confuse us. Tell us sweet things and we may fall, but once we figure out that he has a woman it is time to smarten up and let that man go. We NEED to do this just to keep the integrity of relationships in check. What will happen if all men were able to have women on the side without the threat of being exposed to there main girl? They will continue to cheat and even cheat more. That being said, as WOMEN let us respect ourselves and not deal with a man who are in relationships. I know it is a dog eat dog world and we have to fight for what we want but remember that the shoe may be on the other foot sometime in the future. Trust me it will not feel good. Charma is inevitable.

Another thought: I use to think that it is ok to marry outside of your ethnic group whether African with African American, or Nigerian with a Senegalese. These days I am beginning to rethink that. There is a homegurl who is dating from a different country within Africa. At public events that she attends he is all into her. When she is not around he is all into every female around. I honestly believe that he wants to be with her. They have been together about 3 years but he just does not seem to know how to stay faithful. Is it my duty to tell the homegurl about her guys indiscretion? Most people tell me to stay out of it. That she knows her man, and let her find out on her own. I would not want that for me. If you see my man messing up and we are friends drop a sister a hint or two. Anyway, no one can even tell her anything because she is not part of that community. She is an outsider....the guy would not be able get away with it if they were from the same community. At the least, the gossip would have reached her.

Anyway, I am writing this in between work and I just got real busy....

Getting Active

Last week American Heart Association kicked of START!Walking Day employees were to wear there sneakers to work and walk at least 30 minutes to support the fight against heart disease, the No. 1 killer in the U.S. There were lots of companies here in the Atlanta area that participated, but my company unfortunately did not get involved. I assume they are to busy trying to make the balance sheet look good to investors that they do not have time for such activities.

In the name of getting active Ladies of NOW hosted a "Get Out and Get Active Day", a day where male/female come out and partake in different activities. Tennis, Soccer, Running. The turn out was successful, I hung out with people I do not get to see on a regular. I also participated in the activities(have to keep some kind of shape:)) The Evite that was sent out specifically said come out and get active, we did have a BBQ but the main focus was to make sure you come ready to be physically active. But trust chicks... some of them came to the field with 3 inch heels, make-up, short skirts. They came ready to chill, I'm not hating but come on!?! The men came out ready. Whether to play football(soccer), tennis or just to run the track. Of course the men enjoyed seeing fine ladies but there is really a time and a place. Some Ladies came out with workout attire on but we put the nice ones on, combed our hair, maybe a little more than normal lip gloss but we were ready to sweat a little. Anyway bottom line, statistically women do outlive men, but in a lot of cases the women begin to look older than there significant others. We should try to keep ourselves up through heart healthy activities, if not for your health but for our outer beauty to be up to par.

The pics have not yet been uploaded, but check the website by Wednesday. Have a great Tuesday and remember Get Out and Get Active.

Pointing is rude:).....

Random

Another Friday.... Is life just a complete cycle? Seems like last Friday was just the other day. Again I am going to complain about going to work early M-F. Not that I am spoiled, just want to complain:) Anyway, should I be ashamed to say that I have tuned out the current Democratic Squabble? I am sure the Republicans are sitting back and laughing at how non loyal Democrats can be. Historically, Democrats are know for not backing up each other in elections. ( The comments posted on this blog are a collaboration of my thoughts and some around me. Even some conversation and comments I hear on the elevator. These comments should not be used against me personally to judge my character or my views) November should just come around so those who have legal status in the USA and can vote and we can learn the fate of America. I want to see some kind of darn changes. I was pretty much not nonchalant about our gas prices, but since other things around me are also going up, i.e food, cloths and my interest income is going down i.e. savings account rates, cd rates and the market just SUCKS I get a little pissed when I pump gas and my bill is almost $60.00!!! I have a sedan, not a truck. SO, whomever needs to get in office and make my pockets feel better, my womb safe and in my control, and this country not seem so cocky( and of course keep us safe) then they need to get there and very quick.

Thursday

Today feels like hump day. Throat a little scratchy, do not want to go to work( never really do). On a brighter note, the weather has actually gotten better here. It is a cold Spring. I want to bring out my sandals, but my toes may not be to happy to feel the breeze. By noon, the sun will be busting out of the clouds and I will wish I put sandals on...

This week has actually passed by fairly quickly, this weekend I have a to attend a baby shower, training session and a Ladies of NOW event. So no laying up this weekend

Janelle Monae...

So I did a little research on Ms. Monae. She was actually on Purple Ribbon Records( owned by Outkast) now with The Wondaland Arts Society, originally from NYC(I think) now in Atlanta. Only around 21. Art Nouveau Magazine named Janelle Monae as one of five artists you'll know by 2008. So I guess they were correct, I now know about her:)

Liked her music at the ballet so I would recommend everyone to check out her site.
www.janellemonae.com

Out of the funk

Long time o, I have been busy this week. So today Wednesday you will hear about my past weekend. I finally got out of my funk with the help of .......( wouldn't you like to know:)) Saturday me and a couple of friends saw BIG and The Atlanta Ballet at the Fox Theatre. I was a little confused at first of how the stage was even set up. Big Boi on one side of the stage and tall men and women in white tights on the other side of the stage. Each in there on world. By the time they played "Bombs over Baghdad" the whole show started to come together. I really enjoyed it. A concert with class.. I really like Sleepy Brown singing " I Cant Wait" that seemed to have flowed the best throughout the show. He actually looked real nice in his all white and smoooooth swagger. Then there was Janelle Monáe's performing "Sincerely Jane", this was phenomenal. With her funky haircut, slender frame, and her ballerina outfit she fit in perfectly with the other ballerina on stage. I will actually pay another ticket to go and see just her perform. Overall this NEW collaboration was a good idea. Goes to show that the typical rapper can think outside of the box. The show was nice and the ticket was well priced. A little over $30 to spend time with friends, and enjoy a mini concert with ballet. Sorry o if you missed it:)

FRIDAY

"Its Friday Its Friday Its the end of the week the last day, Hey its on you so what you going to do?" "I'm going to get my chill on and my relax on"

I have skipped work 2 days straight. I actually had a very important training session today. I refused to go. What can I say.... should have went but, oh well. ON another note, what plans do you all have out there? I am a bit moody so I hope I get out of my funk and leave the house this weekend. Want to write more but like I said a bit moody, so maybe more later..