Why am I helping him? I really want to be there for him. Not sure why. Maybe all the guilt I feel for treating him so bad.( Granted he was not a saint either but...) I take his random calls. He picks my calls whenever he CAN. Then today he makes a mistake and does not cut his phone off when he leaves me a message. Then, I hear "her". She is helping him as well. But she should be helping him. They are together now, not us. I hate how I feel..... I hate they are together... I hate that there child is sooo cute... I hate it. This growing knot in my stomach will never go away until I let him go. Time has passed and he is still there. I keep letting him back in. A part of me keeps letting him in because I want to pay "her" back. I am only causing harm to myself. Let go and be free.
-----------STOP TAKING HIS CALLS--------------

Charma

I was the worst girlfriend in the world. Two years later I am just coming to grips with this. How to deal with the guilt is what I am struggling with now. Charma is inevitable... well at least I think it is...I would hate for all these things to come back on me.

Trapped between a rock and a hard place....

- I have loved him for more than several years.... but he with someone else now... I miss him. Was my homeboy but I treated him like CRAP. But he has grown into a DOG( she thinks it because of his new found freedom)

- I have been dating him off and on for 3 years. He is not ready to really commit but I miss him. He is not dedicated and dependable... but I already put my self in this position with him. I feel like I need to conquer him.

- I have the best God fearing man in the world. I just love him.... but he has not discussed marriage.....plus he is just telling me he loves me for the first time.( 2 years later). Parents hate me...

SEE THIS THE KIND OF STUFF PEOPLE ARE CALLING ME ABOUT..... People are dying from lack of proper health care. Matter of the heart are definitely important, but it should not be what consumes us. Call me and discuss more pressing matters or Leave me alone.

Deuces

EMPTY

T'was the day after Christmas and I am getting calls regarding others problems.!!. I am not sure if they don't get it but I don't have any emotions or sympathy to give. I am drained, just empty. Sad to say, but it is true. I find solace in just bottling up all my emotions, doing my work, avoiding tedious conversations with little to NO substance. Hopefully, with time I will get better. So find your way....we ALL got stuff we are going through. Maybe we need to all do what the Caucasians normally do... THERAPY.