Dear XXXXXX

Do you know how hard it is for me to wake up each morning and not be upset with you. To accept your phone calls all in the name of friendship? How I fight with myself to stay strong and not let the fact that my heart is broken affect the way I interact with you as well as others? I am unhappy this morning because I cannot tell you that you are an asshole and are so emotionally unavailable. That you are selfish for allowing us to cross the friendship line and then so quickly leave me out to dry at the first sign of trouble. Do you know how lonely it is over here? Very f***n lonely. The easiest thing to do is to start dating another woman and lie to you and tell you that I am so consumed with work. Isn't that what you are doing? I visited this weekend and you had items of intercourse in your nightstand. For one year I never saw such items. Now all of a sudden you are fond of them. “I still care about you, you are just so difficult” how the hell does that sound to you? Like some bull…. I don’t want to be pissed off at you. I want us to laugh about how we thought a relationship could form from a 5 year friendship. I want to laugh but not now.. I am hurt, lonely and want you to console me. But because I am such a macho man I will swallow how I feel and still accept your phone calls and have meaningless conversation because I don’t want to sound like a wimp. We cry to…

Lyrics from Song Cry
[Jay-Z]
A face of stone, was shocked on the other end of the phone
Word back home is that you had a special friend
So what was oh so special then?
You have given away without gettin at me
That's your fault, how many times you forgiven me?
How was I to know that you was plain sick of me?
I know the way a ni**a livin was whack
But you don't get a ni**a back like that!
Sh*t I'm a man with pride, you don't do sh*t like that
You don't just pick up and leave and leave me sick like that
You don't throw away what we had, just like that I was just fu**in them girls,
I was gon' get right back
They say you can't turn a bad girl good
But once a good girl's goin bad, she's gone forever.. And more forever
Sh*t I gotta live with the fact I did you wrong forever

[Chorus] I can't see 'em comin down my eyes So I gotta make the song cry
I can't see 'em comin down my eyes So I gotta let the song cry
I know I seen 'em comin down your eyes But I gotta make the song cry
I can't see 'em comin down my eyes So I gotta make the song cry